Dakota (Ch 21)

She reached the door and turned the knob. This wasn't where she expected to be. She had other plans. She really wanted to be somewhere else. But she was here. She had no choice. She pushed the door open and took stepped forward. It was like an infant taking their first steps. These were her first steps in the real world. These were her first steps outside of the restrictions of rehab. She was twenty-eight days sober. She was twenty-eight days drug free. She started to smile, then she drew it back. She wasn't happy. It may have been twenty-eight days, but that didn't matter. She wanted a drink. She knew she had to avoid the bottle. But she wanted a drink. She needed a drink. She didn't know life apart from alcohol. She didn't know what life was sober. She was an alcoholic. She always would be. She turned to the bench at her side and took a seat. She couldn't do this. She knew that. She would never be able to stay sober. She couldn't do it. Drugs. Well, drugs were one thing, She could go without drugs. She didn't need drugs. She liked drugs, but she didn't need them. Not like she needed alcohol. Liquor to be specific. Beer didn't do it for her. Wine tasted like water. Vodka, gin, tequila, rum. That's what she needed. That's what she longed for.

She sat on the bench and waited. He should have been here by now. He said he was coming and yet there she was, alone, waiting. She needed someone to talk to. She needed social interaction. She needed distraction. The more she sat on that bench by herself, the more she thought about a bottle of Jack. She fantasized about it. She romanticized it.

She cleared her throat and tried to remember what she had learned in the past four weeks. Her mind was blank. She could only picture bottles, glasses, and flowing liquor. Blink.

"Focus Janie, focus. You can do this. It's been five minutes. You can do this."

She inhaled deeply, then slowly exhaled. She sat back and waited.

/ / /

He drove erratically. He had too much information. He wasn't sure what to do with it. He wasn't even sure what he could do with it. He didn't have a plan. He just drove. The sirens were on. The lights were flashing. Why weren't people getting out of his way? Didn't they see that this was important. He needed to get to Sioux Falls. He needed to get to Janie. He wasn't waiting for the go-ahead from Holt on this one. He was taking the lead. He was taking the reigns. He was taking over. He knew better, but he just couldn't sit on what he had. He knew too much. He had to act now.

He knew that it was a race against time. He knew Holt was on his way to pick up Janie from rehab. He knew that Holt was taking her home to Wessington. But he was making his play. Kahle drove with abandon. He maneuvered expertly through highway traffic. He was on a mission.

As he approached the rehab center, he could see her sitting, waiting, not for him, but for Holt. He was first. He had made it.

Kahle stepped out of the car and stepped to Janie's side.

"Janie Samuels?"

"Ye, yes."

"We haven't met. I'm Donny Kahle. I'm with the Sheriff's Department. Sheriff Holt is very sorry he couldn't make the trip, but official department business has detained him. I'm here to take you back to Wessington."

"Okay. I was expecting Sheriff Holt, but it doesn't make much of a difference to me."

He nodded and offered a hand to help her up. She placed her hand in his.

"Are you the deputy who has been working on my brother's case?"

"Um first, I'm not a deputy. I work for the county, mainly in forensics, but Dakota can be a slow gig."

"Sorry--"

"It's alright. And yes, I have been working the case. Doing a lot of research. I need to know all the players. And all the details. I'm, excuse me, we're going to solve this. We are. Don't think otherwise, not even for a moment."

"Good. I believe you. I feel your passion. It's refreshing. Throw everything you got behind this thing. I want this guy. I want him to rot."

"Well, I could actually use your help."

He opened her door and helped her into the car. Closing it, he returned to his side and took his place behind the wheel.

"How can I help?"

She seemed confused. She was hesitant.

"You've been away from Wessington for a while. You came home after Jason's death. Did Jake contact you? What brought you back?"

He didn't flinch. He didn't delay. He didn't waste a moment. He went right at the big question. Everything else could be figured out after she answered this one question. He didn't care about anything else. This was the only thing that mattered to the case he was now working. Her return could have played into Jason's murder. It could have. That's what he needed to determine. He needed her answer to make a decision. He needed to rule it out.

"I'd been doing some traveling abroad. It was just time."

She turned to him and smiled.

"You know how it is. It's just nice to come back to your own home after a vacation."

"Vacation? How long were you away?"

"Hmmm. Let me think."

He tried to pay attention to his driving. But he didn't like how this conversation was going. She was already relying on bullshit answers. He needed honesty.

"Janie. Let me just stop you right there. I need to know the truth, the details. I need to be able to rule out all possibilities so that I can catch the guy that killed your brother. I need you to be straight with me."

His eyes locked on hers. It was only for a second but it was long enough. He had an intensity about him. He always does. But in that moment it was amplified. She felt a shiver run down her spine. She knew he already knew. He just wanted to hear it from her. He wanted her to say the words. He wanted to verify his information. Central American countries weren't the best with keeping records. But he was confident in what he had discovered. He didn't doubt what he had learned.

She pulled her hair over one shoulder. She stroked the ends of her ponytail and turned to look out the window. It took a minute. Her eyes fell to her lap as her hands continued to play with her hair.

"I ran away."

"You ran away? I know Janie. Let's fast forward. I know what happened here, in the U.S. I need to know about Mexico, Belize, Costa Rica, Panama, Venezuela. I need to know."

"It sounds like you already know."

"Then humor me."

She pushed her feet forward and stiffened her back in the seat. She was frustrated. She didn't want to tell the story. She didn't want to remember. She wanted a drink.

"I had a game. I never really had to play it in Cali because most guys would just offer up the cash to avoid having any allegations of a rape against them."

She paused. He could tell she didn't want to recount what she was about to tell him.

"I was really good at holding my liquor. I could drink and drink and nothing. I didn't feel it. You would never have known. So I used to get wasted, well, these guys would think I was wasted. They'd play their game, hit on me, take me home, you know. So we'd do our thing. Whatever, I didn't care. They didn't know they were the ones being played. I'd wait til the next morning and then I'd make my move. I'd pretend I had been drunk. I'd freak out, start screaming, acting like I had been raped. Most guys couldn't deal. They literally would pay me whatever I demanded, just so I wouldn't press charges. I wasn't afraid because, as I'm sure you already know, I had my dad's shotgun. I can shoot. I wasn't afraid of getting in over my head. I knew I could take care of myself."

"Yeah, I know about your skilled shot."

She turned almost as if she was surprised. The corner of her mouth turned up. He could see her pride. She turned back to the desolate view beyond the glass.

"So in Mexico things were a little different. I couldn't play my game with locals because they didn't have any money. So I tried to focus on tourist locales. I'll admit, I wasn't prepared for it. Some of the guys just didn't care what I said, what I claimed. They didn't care what I reported. So I made reports. I went to the police, told my story. That's what it took. That's when wallets opened. But I was getting tired. The game was getting old. I took a trip to Belize. I just wanted to clear my head. I wanted to figure out what to do next."

"So Belize what just a vacation? I just couldn't fit it into the puzzle."

"Yeah. Everyone needs a vacation."

She smiled. She amused herself. But he could see that she was cold. It was as if she didn't have a soul. She did what she needed to. He didn't like it. She saw his reaction. She tried to recover.

"Um anyway. In Belize, I realized I didn't want to go back to Cancun. I was going to move on. But a girl's gotta eat so--"

"So you needed a new game."

She was beginning to like telling the story. She had never really recounted it so thoroughly. She was leaving out all the parts about the actual verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. She wasn't sure why. It was as if she was trying to build up her own ego. She knew Kahle couldn't really do anything about what she told him.

"Basically. So I went to Costa Rica. I met up with some guys. We were all just looking for some fast and steady cash. I was in Central America. I started dealing. Just dealing. But then things got complicated and I was tangled up in trafficking. I really didn't want to be involved in that. But I was with this guy. Pablo de Amantillo Even though I had messed up so many guys before, I couldn't seem to break away from this one. He just had this hold over me. I tried to run once and my truck literally broke down in the driveway. I thought he was going to kill me. That was the only time I was truly scared, afraid that I might die, that I might actually get my payback."

"What kind of drugs?"

"You know pretty basic. Marijuana mostly, some cocaine."

"Where were these drugs headed."

She didn't want to implicate herself. She wasn't stupid. She knew that if she said they were coming across the Rio Grande that she would be jeopardizing her own freedom.

"All over Central America. I'm not really sure though. I was involved in the arrival moreso. Pablo forced me to pick up shipments and take them to his warehouse mainly. Then he started asking for more. He started making me take longer trips. That's when I really wanted out. I was driving to Panama to pick up shipments. I don't know how he got them across the Canal, but he had a way. I was down there too many times to remember. Finally, he pushed me too far. He decided that I needed to go to Venezuela to meet with a supplier for him. I didn't tell him anything. I didn't tell him that I didn't want to go. I just agreed and went. I couldn't fly because of my passport so I had to drive to Panama and cross the Canal. His contact was supposed to pick me up on the other side and fly me to Maracaibo on his private plane. I had everything booked, only I didn't drive South. I drove North. I knew I had a good chunk of time to make it beyond his reach before he would know I was gone. I headed home. It was the only place I knew to go. I had no money. I had no where to go. I had given up."

"That fills in a lot of holes. How long did it take you to get to Wessington? Did you make any detours?"

He was more perceptive then she initially thought.

"Well I had some money. After all, Pablo was a drug trafficker. I siphoned off enough for the trip back. If you're asking if I made a straight shot from Costa Rica to South Dakota, then no. I didn't. That was the initial plan though. I'd like to think I knew this was where I was headed but in all honesty, no, no I didn't immediately plan to come home. I wanted to get back to the States, that's all."

"So how long? Days? Weeks? What?"

"I don't know. I wasn't keeping count. I was just having fun for once. Real fun. Going to baseball games. Eating ice cream. Walking on the beach."

"Janie. How long? This could be important."

"Why? What does all this really matter, anyway. If you think I killed Jason then you are out of your mind. That's just ludicrous."

"I don't think you killed him. But I need to know if any of the unsavory connections you made knew where you were from."

"What? Seriously? That's even more ridiculous! There is no way!"

"Janie, how long did it take until you showed up in Wessington."

She was growing uncomfortable. His accusations and assumptions were possible. She knew what Pablo was capable of. He wasn't the only one to be worried about. She had screwed a lot of guys. She didn't want to think that she was responsible for her brother's death. And she especially didn't want to think that they was the initial target.

"I uh, I don't know. I have to think about it. I got back at Christmas so..."

She was calculating in her head, retracing her journey.

"Um. The meeting was supposed to be September 5th in Venezuela. I left Costa Rica at the end of August--Oh, God"

"Calm down, Janie. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that's why Jason was killed. But there are some things I have to look into"

"No. I know. I should have figured it out before this. Jason's murder was in mid-September. I should have known."

"Janie. Your mind hasn't been clear in a while. You've been a little clouded."

"I think I'm going to be sick. Pull over. Pull the car over!"

He eased to a stop on the shoulder. She threw open her door and fell out of the car. She heaved, but nothing came up. She heaved again. Nothing. She collapsed on the ground. Her eyes were wet. She was sweating. Kahle had stooped by her side trying to keep her calm.

"Come on Janie. Get back in the car. We'll be home soon. It's alright. I gotta get back so I can figure this out. It's OK. There's no reason to freak out right now."

"You don't get it. You don't have to prove it. I know. I already know."

"No you don't. Just let me look into it--"

He wanted to calm her down. He wasn't completely convinced with his own statements, but he had to reassure her, for now. She was enraged. She didn't want to be patronized.

"Don't you get it? I killed him. I killed my brother!"