Dakota

I look at you. You look at me. Blink. Blink. Blink. We stare back. Nothing. No movement. No emotion. Stillness.

"I said, 'GET OUT!'"

"NO!"

"GET OUT OF THE DAMN CAR!"

In a swift reaching motion, I grab the lever, pull, and push the door open.

"I'm not getting out of this car."

Turning back to my own door, I reach up and open it. I walk around the back of the car, sure to take my keys with me. I grab you firmly under the shoulders, and pull. I heave. You slowly start to move. I'm serious. You realize this now. I'm not staying here with you and I'm definitely not taking you with me. No. This is where it must end. You go your way. I'll go mine. We're done. We're done. Yes, we're done. So why not say it?

"We're done."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"No what did you just say"

"I said we're done. This is it."

"Are you kidding me? This is how it's gonna be?"

"Yep, sorry, this it. I'm done. I'm tired. Moving on"

"I can't believe you. You're an idiot."

"Whatever, I'm done. There's nothing else to say...Do you have everything?"

"Uh, yeah, I think."

"Goodbye then."

Without offering a chance for a reply, I turn, head down, and move quickly back to my side of the car. I look up for just a moment and you stand there mouth gaping. Blink. Nothing. I slide back into the car, turn the key, shift to drive, and hit the gas. I drive for what seems like hours. These places aren't familiar. Where am I? Turn left. No. Right? Maybe...there, there it is. North. I need to go North. Two hundred more miles. I'm almost there. Why is it so quiet? Turn it up. Blink. Turn it up. Better. Play something I can sing to. Wonder what she's doing? No. It's over. It's done. Keep driving. It's not that much longer now. I can do this. I can.

"Can I?"

I nervously tap the wheel. I look at myself in the mirror.

"Yes. I can do this. It's already done. Just keep going."

I'm almost home. I'm almost back where I belong. I recognize these places. I've been here before. I'm almost home. The radio cuts out. My phone rings. I check the screen. No. I'm not answering this one. I won't. It stops. The music resumes. I sing to distract myself. It cuts oout again.

"Dammit. Don't do this!"

I look at the screen again. I can't not look. It's not her. It's not her. It's... It's reprieve.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey" comes the voice on the other end.

"What's up?"

"I just thought you should be here by now. Did everything go OK? Don't tell me that I have to come get you. You did do it, right?"

"Yeah. It's done. It's definitely done"

"Thank God!"

"I'm just a few miles out. Ten minutes maybe. I don't know, I'm not used to driving around here anymore. It's been too long."

"It's all good. No hurry. Just got worried for a minute."

"Well there's no need to worry. I'm almost there. I can't believe I did it. I actually surprised myself. I mean, I wanted to do it, don't get me wrong. I just can't believe I actually did."

"I know man. I thought you might bail"

"C'mon!"

"No seriously, I thought you might give in, hold on, stay...you know like last time."

Glancing in the mirror, I see flashing lights.

"Crap."

"What?"

"Nothing, not you. I think I was speeding. There's a cop pulling me over. I gotta go."

"Wha--"

I hit the button on the wheel ending the call. I pull off to the shoulder. Flashers on. I reach across to the glove box. I grab my insurance card and reach for my wallet in my pocket. Where is it? Where's my wallet? Calm down. Calm down. It's right there. It's in the cup holder. It's OK. Breathe. Just breathe. I hear a tap on the glass, turn and lower my window.

"Son, license and registration please."

"Yes, um yes sir, I mean ma'am. Sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, could I just have the papers sir?"

"Yes, here, I have them right here."

"Thank you, now do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Not really officer. I may have been going a few miles over the limit. I'm not exactly sure what the speed limit is here. I haven't been up in Dakota for years. I kind of forget. I'm just trying to get home. I mean, I'm coming back home."

"Well, no um, you weren't speeding. I actually pulled you over because you have a broken taillight."

"Really? I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"Well I'm inclined to let you go with a request you get that fixed."

"I'd appreciate it. I really wasn't aware."

"Yes son, it's quite all right. Here you are, have a good night."

"Thank you officer. I'll get it taken care of right away."

"Please do. Drive safe. Get straight to where your going."

"Yes ma'am."

She turned sharply and moved back towards her cruiser. I closed the window and slowly eased back onto the highway. I'm almost there. Redial. I have to call him back. Jason is going to wonder what's going on. Send. I'm tapping the wheel again. I do that a lot. Am I nervous? Well I guess I should be. It's been a stressful day. Why isn't he answering? No. I don't want to leave a message. End. Redial.

"C'mon Jay, answer your phone. I just had you. It's been like five minutes."

Voicemail. End. Blink. Just keep driving. Turn signal on. This is my exit. It's getting darker. The pines are reaching down, barely clearing the roof of my car. Back roads in Dakota. I'm not sure that I miss them. What was that? Oppossum? No. It was too big. Looked too much like a cat. Bobcat? Lynx? Who cares. Why didn't Jason answer? I should try again. Should I? I mean I'm almost there now. No I'll try again. Redial. Tap. Tap. Tap. I'm tapping again. My nerves are shot. I really need to sleep. It's been a few nights. Two? No, three. Yeah, it'd been three nights. Barely a moment's sleep. My eyes were red, sunken. Voicemail. Again. It's alright. I'm almost there. Gunshots. I wasn't used to hearing those. They actually startled me. I can't believe it. Gunshots. Startle me? I grew up here. I used to be used to this. I know it's been years. Weird. I don't miss gravel roads. That's for sure. Driving ten miles an hour. Ridiculous. I don't have time for this. Well, I mean I know I'm not going anywhere, but seriously, who wants to have to drive this slow. Are you that poor South Dakota that you can't afford to pave the freaking roads. How long had I been in Chicago? I left in '94. So, yeah, wow. Has it really been 16 years? That's crazy. It didn't seem that long. Well, it kinda did. Actually, it felt longer. I didn't really remember this place at all. Most of that was on purpose though. I did try to forget. I hated it then. I might hate it now. I don't know. It's possible. How long does this gravel road go on for? I see a light. That's it. There it is. Dear Lord, I'm finally here. I'm back. I can't believe it. How far is town? It felt further now then it ever did. I don't know if I can do this. Not here anyway. What was I thinking. Chicago. Uh, I think I miss Chicago already. Think about something else, Jake, think about something else.

"Finally"

I put the car in park with a deep exhale. This is it. I'm here. No turning back. But Chicago. Did I really have to come back here? Did I?

"Stop it. It'll be fine. It's just gonna take some time. Maybe a lot of time."

I stepped out of the car, reached in the back seat and grabbed my bag. The rest could wait until morning. I needed to sleep. I slowly walked to the door. I rang the bell.

"You'd think you'd be ready for me, Jason, c'mon."

I waited. Blink. I rang it again. And waited.

"Jay! Hey Jay! I'm here! C'mon open the door."

Nothing. I didn't even hear him coming. I tried the knob. It turned. It was unlocked. I'd been gone a long time, a proper welcome home would be nice. I pushed it gently open and stepped inside.

"Jay..."

What was that on the floor?

"Hey Jason, where you at?"

I walked slowly forward to the open kitchen door. I turned, gasping. I threw my bag to the ground and fell to my knees.

"Jason! Jason!"

I screamed as I crawled across the kitchen floor. There was blood everywhere. Jason was sprawled out on the tile, left leg bent up behind him, a knife resting on his open right palm. He wasn't gone yet. He tried to speak, but could only manage a gurgle, blood clogging his airway.

"Jason, don't try to talk. I'm gonna get you help. Hang on. Don't give up. Stay with me, Jason."

Where's my phone? Dammit. No service. Where's the phone? Jason, where's your phone?

"Jason hang on. I'm getting you help. I'm here it's alright Jason"

There it is. Pick up. C'mon.

"Hello? Yes I need an ambulance."

Wait, what's my address? I don't know. Where am I?

"Yes please send an ambulance. I just walked in the door and my brother...Jason...he's been stabbed or shot or...he needs an ambulance. 386 Elk River Lane. What? Yes. Yes, Wessington. Hurry, please hurry. Jason stay with me! Jason, look at me. Just send the ambulance. I have to go. I have to help him. He's dying. He's dying right in front of me. I have to help him. Just send the ambulance. How long? Yeah. How long til it's here? He can't wait that long! He can't. Hurry!"

I threw the phone across the room in rage. I'm back. I'm back Dakota! You happy? I'm here and my brother's dead. My brother's dead! I'm back and he's dead! I shouldn't have left Chicago. I just talked to him. He was fine. He was alive and now he's dead! What the hell happened in those ten minutes? Dammit, Jason! Blink.

Welcome to Wessington, South Dakota, Jake Samuels. Welcome home.